Monday, May 05, 2008

Iron Man

The entire appeal of superheroes escapes me. I never wanted to fly or leap tall buildings in a single bound. Belch and talk at the same time, sure, at least when I was 11. But I've honestly never given much thought to what the world might be like if I had superpowers. Hence I probably have little interest in watching guys in capes defeat nefarious criminals. In general, guys in capes scare me. I remember Genesis and Yes from the early '70s.

So I thought Iron Man might be a Black Sabbath documentary. It's not. It's a superhero movie. I haven't seen it. But I just found out this fun fact this weekend, when the movie opened to great fanfare and much box office success. I had seen a few cryptic references to an upcoming movie called Iron Man. I had secretly hoped for an Ozzy Osbourne biopic. I am disappointed again.


Anonymous said...

Go see it. As far as summer and superhero movies go, it is top notch. In addition to the usual special effects, the dialogue is witty, and the themes are actually quite interesting: finding one's purpose, redemption (small r), technology and humanity, and America's place in the world. I predict you will be pleasantly surprised.

Friar said...

Iron Man, a.k.a The Life and Times of John "Ozzy" Osbourne

Act 1: A Genius is Born
Ozzy: Waahhh! Wahhhh! Wahhh!
Ozzy's Mom: What the $%&#? Where's my normal child?

Act 2: The Rise to Fame
Ozzy: Warrrh! Blarrgh! Bleagh!
Dead Bat: (No lines -- it's a prop)

Act 2: On TV!
Ozzy: Mumble. Bllggg. Nrrfgf.
MTV execs: It's a license to print money, baby!

There you go.

Andy Whitman said...

Excellent plot summary, Friar. It has it all: parent/child conflict, wretched excess, and a dead bat. This sounds a lot better than a guy in a robot suit.

But I'd also recommend:

Act 4: The Bat Bites Back

Ozzy's Kid: Waaah! Blggg. I need $78,000 for a new car and my drug habit.
Ozzy: What the $%&#? Where my normal child?

Friar said...

I think she's the one who decided to live in the guest house while they filmed the show.