Wednesday, August 07, 2019


I am trying to modify the way I eat. My doctor thinks I should do this. My wife thinks I should do this. I myself think I should do this. It’s a good idea.

So I’ve been at it a month, and I’m seeing some tangible results in the weight department. Let me note that three of the days during that month were spent in the hospital, and whatever “food” I was taking in was courtesy of an IV drip. So that probably helped the weight, too. Nevertheless, I don’t recommend it as a dietary strategy.

Here’s what I’m not eating. At all.

·       Flour/Wheat/Gluten – No bread, no pasta, no cereal, no chips.
·       Red meat – No burgers. No filet mignon, medium-rare.
·       Sugar – No cakes. No pies. No doughnuts. No candy. Not even food that is sweetened by its own natural sugars, like beets. No great loss on the latter item.
·       Dairy – No (real) milk. No ice cream. No cheese. No Dairy Queen Reese’s Pieces Blizzards.

Here’s what I’ve been eating/drinking instead:

·       Fish - A lot of fish. Mainly cod and flounder. No tuna, which is full of mercury. Wild-caught (but only wild-caught) salmon.
·       Chicken – Grilled, not fried/breaded or smothered in sauces. Thank God for chicken. Chicken is currently keeping me sane.
·       Almond milk/Coconut milk. – My wife tells me that it’s not all that different from cow’s milk. She lies. This stuff is execrable.
·       Vegetables – Half of every plate. Some salads with minimal vinaigrette dressing. Lots of green beans, peas, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers, etc. Vegetables are okay as side dishes. My new life tells me that they’re going to be main dishes. This is hard, I tell you.

More non-food/supplement additions:

·       MCT Oil- I have no idea. It has the viscosity of motor oil. It floats on top of my cups of coffee, my very own private oil slick. Kate tells me it’s good for me.
·       Collagen – It’s a powder that gets stirred into various liquids. It is odorless, tasteless, fine, I suppose. I really have no clue. Again, I’m told it’s good for me.
·       Magnesium Citrate – In pill form. I’m told it will help keep my bowels regular. Yes, I have reached that stage of life.
·       Vitamin C and Vitamin D – No fruit juices. They’re high in sugar. So I get the Vitamin C in pill form. Same for Vitamin D, which is supposed to be like sunshine. I recall other pills I’ve swallowed that were supposed to be like sunshine. I am dubious. I wave my hands around and they look normal.

It’s all challenging, but I’m doing okay. The cheery diet books I’ve read (two) have assured me that this only works if it’s a lifestyle, not a diet. It’s not supposed to be a temporary fix. And I get that. One day at a time. I’ve heard that phrase in other contexts, too, but it works here as well.

I’m thankful to be up and moving and above ground. If I see you, I’ll treat you to a collagen-laced cup of herbal tea.

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