Monday, February 16, 2009

The Waiting

The waiting is the hardest part
Every day you see one more card

You take it on faith, you take it to the heart

The waiting is the hardest part

-- Tom Petty, "The Waiting"

At a certain point -- and it doesn't take all that long in this economy -- you've done everything you can do. You've contacted every employed person you know, you've filled out all the online applications you can fill out, and you've searched every job search site that can be searched. At that point you sit back and wait.

And the waiting really is the hardest part. My job interview this morning was canceled. The recruiting person has a sick kid, so we've rescheduled for later in the week. It's okay. It's given me a chance to rehearse my spiel in my head, and to pray for a woman I don't know and her sick son. There's merit in that. And I have two other interviews scheduled for later in the week as well. That's good, I keep telling myself. So I changed out of the monkey suit, and I headed for the den, where I do my waiting. Now I sit waiting for the phone to ring. I wait for an email to pop up, and hope that it's not another advertisement for erectile dysfunction medication. At least the email pops up.

In theory, this time should provide me a welcome respite from writing about database capacity planning and database stored procedures, and should offer a fine opportunity to write about the things I actually like to write about. In reality, it's hard to focus on music when I'm not sure how the bills are going to be paid. I need to revise a long article about Bruce Springsteen that I've written for Image Journal, and instead I keep thinking about the Boss I don't have. I've done remarkably well during my first five-and-a-half days of Life Without A Job. I've been in good spirits, I've been able to focus on others, and I've honestly experienced a measure of peace and joy. This is the grace of God. Today I'm not doing as well. I'm simply waiting. And the waiting is the hardest part. It's time to take it on faith. So wish me faith. And hope and love.


John McCollum said...

I hear you.

Every time the phone rings, I jump -- it might be [potential client who could save Element's bacon and ensure another 6 months of solvency]!

And it's not. And I can't call her, either, because I already called her on Friday and I don't want to be pushy...

I don't know. I've noticed a lot of scriptures recently that talk about waiting on the Lord. Or knocking repeatedly at the door. It seems like there's some sort of spiritual discipline to holding steady, but I can't seem to get the hang of it.

And sometimes I feel like God doesn't quite understand -- we're dyin' down here, man -- and then I feel even less spiritually adroit for feeling that way.

Hang in there. And take a walk or something.

Anonymous said...

I'm a fan of your writing and wanted to send some encouragement.

I was laid off last year and spend seven months without full-time employment. 'The Waiting' became my theme song. It really is the hardest part.

Through my season in the desert, some great things happened. I really got to know my dad in a way that I'd longed to since I was a child. My relationship with my wife was strengthened. I found myself. I discovered 'Mad Men'. I watched a lot of Cubs baseball.

It may sound trite, but you will prevail. (I eventually found a great job with more security and better pay.) Use this time to do the things that you normally wouldn't have time for. This time can be a gift if you choose to see it that way.

Dr. Douglas said...

Impotence (erectile dysfunction) is far more prevalent than statistics show. The majority of sufferers chosing not to address their problem through embarrassment. The social stigma that men perceive is sufficient to stop many coming forward. Most men will have experienced unsatisfactory performance during sex. If more came forward there would be better understanding of the problem, which is generally a lack of good blood flow to the genital area. There are many products which now claim to help assist or cure. To date the only non chemical solution that is supported by any clinical trials is a little known herb- Butea Superba which has improved erectile function in over 80% of users. Grown under Government license in the Far East and now availbale in pill form in the West under the brand name HealthyED. Buying direct on the internet is now possible at and from a personal perspective I can say they have worked for me, initially improving my performance but mostly improving my confidence.

Andy Whitman said...

Thank you, Steve. I'm feeling more confident already. Any correlation with increased success in job interviews?