tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post113933010557943322..comments2023-08-10T05:24:20.775-04:00Comments on Razing the Bar: SecretsAndy Whitmanhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04010130934552315074noreply@blogger.comBlogger28125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139596006710915712006-02-10T13:26:00.000-05:002006-02-10T13:26:00.000-05:00Hey, no problem, Grant. Jump in any time. I just...Hey, no problem, Grant. Jump in any time. I just thought you might have the famous Teddy D. in mind, when this is Teddi Baer (okay, I made up that last name, but wouldn't it be fun?).Andy Whitmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04010130934552315074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139592206658533172006-02-10T12:23:00.000-05:002006-02-10T12:23:00.000-05:00Interesting discussion... provacative. Most of it ...Interesting discussion... provacative. Most of it I dont really have any thoughts or experience to contribute too. One thing thought did strike me personally...<BR/><BR/>John you said<BR/><BR/>"Hell, the value of a REAL naked woman has declined for most men over the years. Sure, the ample, Rubenesque physique of the yore has been passe for quite some time now, but even attractive, fit women aren't enough to cause a decent erection for most men in our society. Today, if she doesn't look like a 12 year old with a boob job, if she isn't permanently hornier than a cat in heat, it's not really worth it, is it?"<BR/><BR/>I believe that. I think that effects us a lot... as women. Or at least me. My husband has never made me feel that way, but society does. Even though I only care about my husband, I have felt that pressure most my life to live up to a standard that is not possible. Like no matter what I do or how I take care of myself it will never be enough.<BR/>You articulated it well... A 12 year old with a boob job.mommy zabshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10867526867356840793noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139586943259692192006-02-10T10:55:00.000-05:002006-02-10T10:55:00.000-05:00Grant wrote:"If you're hooked on something, you ju...Grant wrote:<BR/><BR/>"If you're hooked on something, you just can't have a casual attitude about it."<BR/><BR/>You think? I know people who smoke pot round the clock, and have for decades. They are hooked as surely as anyone can be hooked. But they don't sweat it (unless they happen to be out of pot). It's just part of their daily routine, and otherwise they don't give it a second thought. I'm not sure that "casualness" equates to "non-addiction." Sometimes it simply means desensitization and a numbed conscience.Andy Whitmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04010130934552315074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139586557911757752006-02-10T10:49:00.000-05:002006-02-10T10:49:00.000-05:00I agree with you, Grant.Just a quick clarification...I agree with you, Grant.<BR/><BR/>Just a quick clarification, though. The person you were responding to was Teddi, not Teddy. I know Teddy, I don't know Teddi, and although I'm glad that Teddi felt free to comment, I just wanted to note that the person you're responding to is probably not who you think he (she?) is.Andy Whitmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04010130934552315074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139581644775611722006-02-10T09:27:00.000-05:002006-02-10T09:27:00.000-05:00thanks for sharing you struggles. visit www.xxxchu...thanks for sharing you struggles. visit www.xxxchurch.com it is a ministry to those who struggle with this. they've done things like open a booth at porn conventions and try to minister even to people in that business.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139547289139272622006-02-09T23:54:00.000-05:002006-02-09T23:54:00.000-05:00Mark K took the words right out of my fingers. Par...Mark K took the words right out of my fingers. Part of our "addiction" problem--as John has very nicely described--is that we're settling for the unreal. And we settle for it so often that we think it is The Real. If the sheer accessibility of porn doesn't drag you in, it seems that something else will--the attraction of power, etc. (David Wilcox's "Sex and Music" is insightful here).<BR/><BR/>Maybe it's too idealistic or abstract to write this out loud, but it seems like what we really want is completeness. Sex--more, perhaps, than other pleasures--seems to be an avenue toward completeness. It's not the whole story, of course. But if sex is the closest thing we can get to completeness (even if it's just virtual sex), we'll settle for it.ehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13724389911456722864noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139508518910031482006-02-09T13:08:00.000-05:002006-02-09T13:08:00.000-05:00Paraphrasing C.S. Lewis, we don't have enough lust...Paraphrasing C.S. Lewis, we don't have enough lust. If our desires were strong enough we would bypass the things that don't really satisfy us (porn, immoral sex, etc.) and pursue what (or Who) really does satisfy.Mark K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00779814057753940030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139441472712775452006-02-08T18:31:00.000-05:002006-02-08T18:31:00.000-05:00Oops, that link session (to the Creflo video) time...Oops, that link session (to the Creflo video) times out and doesn't work. Just go to <A HREF="http://www.creflodollarministries.org" REL="nofollow">Creflo Dollar's website</A> and search the bookstore for "I Declare War on Lust". Good preaching.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139441335596500082006-02-08T18:28:00.000-05:002006-02-08T18:28:00.000-05:00Andy, you mentioned addictions in terms of an Amer...Andy, you mentioned addictions in terms of an American problem, and wondered whether it's as bad in other cultures. I agree that America has a lot of bad stuff so EASY to hand, much moreso than most other nations.<BR/><BR/>However, I think it can be boiled very simply down to this: addiction is idolatry. Idolatry is putting anything -- a substance, a self-gratifying act, a desire -- higher than God in our lives. As such, it's a universal problem.<BR/><BR/>Addiction springs naturally from idolatry, because when we seek (and find) gratification from something, we keep going back for more. However, only in Jesus do we find the water that so satisfies us that we'll "never thirst again". That's the trap of lust: it's desire for something non-God, and it always never satisfies for long (if at all).<BR/><BR/>Then again, maybe the analogy doesn't work that way. I suppose you can be "addicted to God" and always wanting more of Him... but the good news is that He doesn't have any bad side effects. ;-) Addiction to (worship of) God and His way of life only leads to blessing and love and restored relationships and healing.<BR/><BR/>It's funny how many things in my life lead back to this summarization: I'm a being created to worship God. When I wander outside of that divine purpose I find only hardship and pain and destruction. Putting my worship (my thoughts, my desires, my time and other resources) towards any other thing leads to an inevitable crash.<BR/><BR/>Anyway, my original thought was in answer to the comment about whether this is an American problem. I don't think so. I really don't see any other cultures with the perfect model marriages (or male/female relationships), regardless of cultural details. I think it just looks a little different in other places, but it's the same thing. Idolatry.<BR/><BR/>I've heard a great message series by Creflo Dollar on the topic of lust. He really boiled it down clearly, with an understanding of the mechanics of the problem and practical application for deliverance and restoration.<BR/><BR/>Here's a link to the video version (there's audio CDs, too):<BR/><BR/><A HREF="https://ww2.micahtek.com/nexolive/nShop_Detail.cfm?CFID=2420229&CFTOKEN=94384772" REL="nofollow">https://ww2.micahtek.com/nexolive/nShop_Detail.cfm?CFID=2420229&CFTOKEN=94384772</A>Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139419933375725642006-02-08T12:32:00.000-05:002006-02-08T12:32:00.000-05:00The Church may be waking up.I saw an interview wit...The Church may be waking up.<BR/><BR/>I saw an interview with a pastor on a news show. He was talking about dealing with porn in the church. <BR/><BR/>Better late than never.Mark K.https://www.blogger.com/profile/00779814057753940030noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139417947572861672006-02-08T11:59:00.000-05:002006-02-08T11:59:00.000-05:00"Are we talking about sex or addiction? Andy sugge..."Are we talking about sex or addiction? <BR/><BR/>Andy suggests we are talking about the plague of addictions facing us as Americans. I agree. From my own experiences, I believe sex has very little to do with what we're talking about. I think we are talking about on a lighter level, destructive behavior (habits) that separate us from God; and on a heavier level, addictions which slam the door on the Spirit. "<BR/><BR/>I think that we're talking about both sex AND addiction. Sex addictions are, perhaps, more complex than others, in that, it is 'normal' for every human being to desire sex, and to experience attraction and arousal. It is not 'normal' (or perhaps 'universal' would be a more useful term here) for human beings to experience a desire for heroin, for instance.<BR/><BR/>I think that our culture has devised countless methods of not only enabling sexual addictions and sins, but entrapping those who are not yet addicted.<BR/><BR/>Imagine a society where every single person has an innate attraction to heroin and in which heroin addiction is seen as the ultimate form of self expression, wherein restrictions on heroin are equated with oppression, and where heroin procurement and delivery devices are offered to even the youngest members of our society, and where addicts are solicited by hundreds of pushers each day, and we'd have something sort of, kind of like what we have with sex in our society.John McCollumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14757876504958350010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139414476942777782006-02-08T11:01:00.000-05:002006-02-08T11:01:00.000-05:00Good comments, everyone. To clarify, I was in no w...Good comments, everyone. To clarify, I was in no way suggesting that men and women struggle with lust in the same way. I do think that the cycle of addiction and shame is similar, although, as has been pointed out, the immediacy of lust is far more prevalent and plaguing to men than women. I'm sorry if in my previous comment it sounded as though I was trying to belittle the battle that men do with lust. I was in no way trying to do that...I know that men are constantly bombarded with images designed to arouse them, and can only imagine how difficult it must be to fight to keep a pure mind and body amongst those temptations. It's a sin that plagues both genders, in different ways. As someone else said, we are indeed a sexually screwed-up society.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139408776391667242006-02-08T09:26:00.000-05:002006-02-08T09:26:00.000-05:00Are we talking about sex or addiction? Andy sugges...Are we talking about sex or addiction? <BR/><BR/>Andy suggests we are talking about the plague of addictions facing us as Americans. I agree. From my own experiences, I believe sex has very little to do with what we're talking about. I think we are talking about on a lighter level, destructive behavior (habits) that separate us from God; and on a heavier level, addictions which slam the door on the Spirit. <BR/><BR/>The question is not 'how many of us are doing it,' it's 'why are we doing it?' And, of course, it's not just a guy thing. Anon, your point illustrates why most seekers turn to the church of oprah/dr phil than the christian church in america. It's good to be angry at the church for this over site; as long as you are willing to help correct it. <BR/><BR/>Andy suggests that we should get together and talk through these issues. I agree. I would be happy to host a group of men for the purpose of shedding light on this problem. If someone would like to host a women's gathering this would also be a good idea. <BR/><BR/>Let me know if anyone is interested.danthresshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07519939413038295776noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139406142513312032006-02-08T08:42:00.000-05:002006-02-08T08:42:00.000-05:00Great comments all around.Kirsten, please comment ...Great comments all around.<BR/><BR/>Kirsten, please comment any time. Thanks for sharing a "success story" in this area. That is heartening to read. I am so glad that God was able to work through a very difficult situation and draw you and your husband closer together. It *is* a miracle, and one worth sharing and celebrating. I'm thankful. <BR/><BR/>Sadly, many marriages have broken apart over this issue. I don't think that will happen with my friend. He and his wife are mature people who have already lived through a lot of the crap that life tends to dish out if we just stay alive and keep waking up day after day. They have many, many likeable and good qualities, and I believe they'll be able to work through this and see the good in each other. But it's hard. I do understand the sense of betrayal that his wife is experiencing. <BR/><BR/>Anonymous, I don't want to downplay at all the fact that this is a very real issue for women as well. And you're right; as difficult as it is for men to be honest about this issue, particularly in a Christian environment, it must be even more difficult for women. <BR/><BR/>I do agree with John that there are differences in the ways that men and women deal with this issue. And I could be wrong, but I tend to think that men in our society are confronted with lust in a much more blatant, "in your face" way than most women.<BR/><BR/>I watched the Super Bowl on Sunday. One commercial, which aired twice, featured a beautiful young woman in a bra, and little else, offering her most provocative "come hither" look to the cameras. And the strings on her bra snapped off, one by one, in slow motion, as she sat in front of an older gentleman whose executive nameplate bore the inscription "Big Daddy." Hmm, I wonder what that could be about. I felt assaulted. And I just wanted to watch a football game, you know? <BR/><BR/>In any case, I struggle in this area, and I suspect most people do. And I appreciate the way this discussion has proceeded; good thoughts, lots of provocative (in the best sense) ideas, and plenty of honesty and encouragement.Andy Whitmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04010130934552315074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139395318128385552006-02-08T05:41:00.001-05:002006-02-08T05:41:00.001-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.John McCollumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14757876504958350010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139395309285807882006-02-08T05:41:00.000-05:002006-02-08T05:41:00.000-05:00"I've never been a woman, so I can't say) and more..."I've never been a woman, so I can't say) and more immediate than it is for a man."<BR/><BR/>Sorry. This paragraph should read: <BR/><BR/>"I've never been a woman, so I can't say) and more immediate than it is for a WOMAN."<BR/><BR/>Can't type today.John McCollumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14757876504958350010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139395132413722112006-02-08T05:38:00.000-05:002006-02-08T05:38:00.000-05:00Anonymouses,Thanks for bringing up this issue. It'...Anonymouses,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for bringing up this issue. It's clear that both genders are sexually broken and confused. I'm truly sorry that this issue is so often mishandled in the church, and I hope that we're making a dent in that, at least for the readers of this fine blog.<BR/><BR/>I am, in no way, trying to belittle your struggle with lust. It must be very difficult to struggle as a woman and have no healthy forum for discussing it. That having been said (and as Mike G once said, "I'm no sexpert, but...") it seems to me that pornography affects the average man differently than the average woman.<BR/><BR/>If my vast experience with conventional wisdom (albeit limited experience talking with actual women about this) is accurate, most women are unable, or at least unlikely to be aroused to a state of sexual readiness by a glance at an erotic picture.<BR/><BR/>Women, it seems, most often require the correct mood and a fair amount of preparatory stimulation -- both physical and psychological -- to enter a pre-orgasmic state. Most men are about 10 seconds from orgasm pretty much 24 hours a day.<BR/><BR/>In other words, a glance at a Victoria's Secret poster at Easton can LITERALLY trigger a sexual response in a man that, for most women, would require a nice glass of wine, an Al Green CD and a 15 minute backrub. Distracting, to say the least.<BR/><BR/>I guess my point is that the draw towards pornographic images and the power of lustful thoughts for a man is different (not stronger -- I've never been a woman, so I can't say) and more immediate than it is for a man. This doesn't in any way excuse men for indulging in lustful thoughts and impure habits, but it might explain it for some women who find it inconceivable that their husband could ever struggle with anything like this.<BR/><BR/>I'm thankful that God is indeed powerful enough to protect us from our own twisted physical, emotional and sexual desires.John McCollumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14757876504958350010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139395017780759222006-02-08T05:36:00.000-05:002006-02-08T05:36:00.000-05:00This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.John McCollumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14757876504958350010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139380152878342282006-02-08T01:29:00.000-05:002006-02-08T01:29:00.000-05:00Thanks, anonymous, for bringing up the issue of wo...Thanks, anonymous, for bringing up the issue of women struggling with porn. It's something about the church that grieves and angers me, that we seem to deny that women have any sexual drive. I myself have struggled with addiction to pornography (whether that be images or erotic stories/chats) and masturbation, and I know that many other women in my circle of friends have struggled with masturbation and erotic stories as well. It's not just a male problem. If you think it's hard to talk about struggling with lust/porn as a man in the church, try being a woman and bringing it up. I assumed for years that I was a freak, the lone woman struggling with lust, because anytime the subject came up at church, it was a whole sermon aimed at men about combatting lust, and then a quick, "Women, dress modestly so as not to incite men's lust" tossed to the women, as if we don't have any of our own issues of lust to grapple with. <BR/><BR/>At any rate, I will be praying for your friend and his family, Andy. Porn is devastating, but God is good. He brings healing to the most dead of places.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139366520385336122006-02-07T21:42:00.000-05:002006-02-07T21:42:00.000-05:00It's not just a problem for men... women can get a...It's not just a problem for men... women can get addicted to porn as well. I know. Pray for me too. <BR/><BR/>- A womanAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139365959932838142006-02-07T21:32:00.000-05:002006-02-07T21:32:00.000-05:00I feel a bit strange commenting in your blog, Andy...I feel a bit strange commenting in your blog, Andy, as you and I have never met. But, after reading Nikki’s story about her friend (which I know to be true) I feel compelled to do so, so here goes:<BR/><BR/>Stephen and I went through this toward the beginning of our marriage. It would be hard to exaggerate the pain I was in. The betrayal was overwhelming and the sense of isolation in a culture that thinks porn is no big deal was incredible. <BR/><BR/>It was awful. From the pit of hell. I can’t comment with such authority on Stephen’s experience through it. But I know what addiction’s like, and so I know it was a dark, dark time. I would have given ANYthing to not go through it.<BR/><BR/>This is why I feel compelled to comment. Because if your friend or his wife read this, they need to know. (Forgive me. I know I’m preaching to the choir.) We serve a God who works miracles. Sometimes they’re tiny, tiny miracles that add up to a huge one. There is so much hope. I’m glad you feel it for your friend, Andy. There is so much healing and freedom available. Restoration is hard. So hard. But so, so sweet.<BR/><BR/>It’s a miracle in and of itself that Stephen and I are still married. A bona fide act of God. But He was not satisfied just to keep us from divorcing each other. He wasn’t even content to restore what we had before all this. Instead, He gave us something so much more beautiful and real and useful to Him than I could’ve hoped for even before any of this happened. <BR/><BR/>I would’ve given anything not to go through it. But, if it would mean losing what we have gained, I would not now choose to have escaped it.<BR/><BR/>In Ephesians Paul says that God is able to do more than all we ask or imagine. And we are proof. Once-dead-but-now-alive Proof. I’ll pray for a similar miracle for them. An even better one.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139358466418553332006-02-07T19:27:00.000-05:002006-02-07T19:27:00.000-05:00thanks for this post, Andy. Your blog is always th...thanks for this post, Andy. Your blog is always thoughtful and honest; you seem to be a man of great integrity. <BR/><BR/>I've fixed a lot of computers for friends and neighbors, and out of the dozens that I've worked on, I think there was only one that didn't have any trace of pornography on it. And I wasn't especially looking for it on them, either. One computer owned by a married man had a cached page of a site for clandestine sexual encounters. It made me never want to look at another man's computer again.<BR/><BR/>If my limited experience is any indication, you're right on about the pervasiveness of this addiction to pornography. God help us all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139348492100248452006-02-07T16:41:00.000-05:002006-02-07T16:41:00.000-05:00John wrote:"Right on. I think that so many people ...John wrote:<BR/><BR/>"Right on. I think that so many people don't feel like they CAN come clean about the shit in their lives because they're really afraid that the ones who love them the most would reject them if they ever told their secrets. It's a dark, dark place to be."<BR/><BR/>Yes. And sometimes they're right. It's the great trap. We are conditioned to respond sexually all our lives, and then when we respond sexually we can lose our marriages. Yes, I feel bad for the wives. Yes, they've been betrayed. But the men have been sucker-punched. <BR/><BR/>I do know that pornography is the besetting sin of most Christian men. And when I say most Christian men I mean most Christian men. As in more than half. I would venture to bet that within the subset of Christian men with Internet connections, the number approaches 100%. <BR/><BR/>It is impossible to live as a male in our society and not be affected by lust disguised as marketing. You'd have to be a hermit in a cave. <BR/><BR/>Given that, I think we need to talk about it, and not politely, umm, skirt the issues, either. I mean specifically ask one another how we are doing in this area, pray for one another, encourage one another, hold one another accountable, and kick one another in the butt/crotch if need be, whichever is more appropriate.<BR/><BR/>We owe this to our wives, and to the Lord we serve. But let's not kid ourselves. As men we are hard-wired to lust, and the mass media have us by our handles, and they lead us merrily along. Like any other temptation, we can fight, and we are not destined to succumb. But as long as the subject is taboo in polite Christian conversation, we don't stand a snowball's chance in hell. We cannot do this alone. Let's talk to one another.Andy Whitmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04010130934552315074noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139344840913093552006-02-07T15:40:00.000-05:002006-02-07T15:40:00.000-05:00Andy, Thanks.--it would suck if it destroyed her a...Andy, Thanks.<BR/><BR/>--<BR/><BR/>it would suck if it destroyed her as it restored her husband.<BR/><BR/>---<BR/><BR/>Nikki,<BR/><BR/>Right on. I think that so many people don't feel like they CAN come clean about the shit in their lives because they're really afraid that the ones who love them the most would reject them if they ever told their secrets. It's a dark, dark place to be.<BR/><BR/>We are such a sexually screwed up society. It can't be excused, but maybe it can be explained. Obviously, most guys are wired differently than most girls. And our society spends billions of dollars every year pushing this crap on our little boys and girls. As Julie Miller says, "You make people just like animals, turn a child into a whore, make a precious thing worthless just to sell a little more."<BR/><BR/>Parents dress their little girls like prostitutes, and boys are fed a non-stop stream of semi-pornographic filth from, what? age seven or eight on everything from music videos to video games to action figures... Gah! I hate to sound like a prude, but I'm just so sick of it all.<BR/><BR/>And this God damned internet, it's like an adult bookstore in every bedroom. As a friend quipped the other day, "At least when we were growing up, we had to WORK HARD for our porn."<BR/><BR/>Ironically, the ubiquity of sexually explicit materials has actually LOWERED the sex drive of the average American male. The bra and panty section of the Lazarus catalog used to be enough to provoke arousal among an average Joe. But the exchange-rate-value of a semi-naked woman has really declined over the last few years.<BR/><BR/>Hell, the value of a REAL naked woman has declined for most men over the years. Sure, the ample, Rubenesque physique of the yore has been passe for quite some time now, but even attractive, fit women aren't enough to cause a decent erection for most men in our society. Today, if she doesn't look like a 12 year old with a boob job, if she isn't permanently hornier than a cat in heat, it's not really worth it, is it?<BR/><BR/>If I paid an extra 8 bucks a month, I could get the 'perfect' woman broadcast into my bedroom, ready to pleasure me on 24 channels, 25 hours a day. Why the hell should I take the time to give my wife a backrub and actually attempt to pursue the messy, time-consuming, sometimes disappointing "Act of Marriage" as Tim LaHaye calls it?<BR/><BR/>AAARRRGH!<BR/><BR/>Damn you, Satan, and all of your soul-sucking pornography in all of its God damned forms. Stay away from me, from my computer, from my friends, from my church, and from my little boys.<BR/><BR/>Gaaargh!!!John McCollumhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14757876504958350010noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9991864.post-1139344594513837292006-02-07T15:36:00.000-05:002006-02-07T15:36:00.000-05:00how devastating. like nikki, i can't but help thin...how devastating. like nikki, i can't but help think of what the wife must be going through. i will pray for them.Karenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03873045531201669483noreply@blogger.com